There is an unspoken demand that we should be ‘ready’ always. Does that statement resonates as the ultimate truth? Is it that life  is so demanding or is it the society we live in stands on our neck screaming down its demands? Whatsoever is the answer, sometimes it is okay not to be ready. If I am to recall instances when I was not ready for something, there are a few memories that pops up into my mind.

Crime and Punishment. Reading started off as an activity to beat off boredom. Soon, it took the form of hobby wherein I started devouring anything and everything that crossed path with me. Eventually, reading became a lifeboat in which I board to stay afloat in the sea of life.  It was at that phase, I caught hold of Fyodor Dostoevsky’s adulated work. I didn’t understand anything. Not even a paragraph. What else did I expect from my 12-year-old self to gain out of the world of Crime and Punishment? I wasn’t ready for this literary pride. Nevertheless, some day I will and that would be an altogether a new baptism.

Haruki Murakami. Though I totally appreciate the creativity of Murakami and the dark plots that twist around my intellect. I am not yet ready for him. When I read his books, I can feel someone scratching my brain. I hear it. I feel it, especially the sharp nails moving up and down, spelling out each word conjured by Murakami. It’s a very weird imaginary sensation to feel that makes one doubt on one’s own sanity. His words are light in texture and heavy in thoughts that make me realize that I should wait for some more time before I can appreciate the spirit behind the letters. For the time being, I am not ready. Nevertheless, I am sure that soon I would be. Some day. That day, perhaps, I would wistfully surf the ticket to Japan and buy some kimono.

The Fountain. I first saw this movie in 2009. I was rolling my eyes and wondering when the movie would end. None of the reviews on the internet made any sense to me. I was sure the whole system was rigged. I smirked like a fool. Yes, an unflattering idiot. Years passed by and in 2015, a good friend suggested this movie. I was surprised but decided to give it another try. I was taken aback and fell in love with the movie. It now features in my Favorite Movies List. What I wasn’t ready for in 2009, life made me ready for 2015.

I have examples to draw from my own personal life where I wasn’t ready for small or big commitments. Then, on how I became ready ‘in my own sweet time’. Those examples, I leave it tucked in the tiny corner of my mind, only to be taken out in my own sweet time,share to some dear one, over a cup of tea. I am sure that day it will rain softly in the background.

While I wait for that some day, all I want to convey to you, my readers, is that this taught me a very valuable lesson. I need not be ready all the time, at the drop of the society’s hat. I can, sometime, bow down and say ‘No, not now. No, I don’t know when , but definitely, not now’. It is absolutely fine to sometimes pause and say ‘Perhaps, some other day’. If it’s meant to be, you will always be back, right on the spot, ready and all geared up to receive your share from the pie.

mercy SP
"I am a castle builder mostly seen adorning the hat of a lazy rebel; clad in the uniform of a confused idealist."

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