Defining oneself is the least and the easiest philosophical task one can do during one’s course of life. Everyone inadvertently tend to do so. It could be as simple as “I have to use coasters because I don’t like the rings of dirt left behind by glass of water or cup of tea on the table”, “I need to return back down to the single penny I owe to others because I detest the idea of debt”, “I am right to have expectations from others because I go out of my way to serve them” and so on it goes.

Everyone knows what they want for sure starting from whether they care about washing the onions after peeling or just believe it to be clean because of the natural covering. In short, personal choices starts the process of defining oneself. One need not fathom on whether universe is actually a singularity or the truth of existence lies in the black hole to be a philosopher or scientist. To know thyself is equally an enormous task and a philosophical odyssey, not just any random sojourn. 

Speaking of odysseys, would you actually take time out of your mundane routine to plan a trip which is not exactly within your comfort zone? After all, anything outside your couch and bed is beyond the boundaries of your comfort zone. This trip is not a regular trip where you need to shop to pack, update the itinerary in Facebook and flood the Instagram page with hashtags that distort the perfect rules of grammar and punctuation. The trip I am referring to is the trip one takes for finding out who are we inside our head. 

This reminds me of a question a person once asked me “Who are you outside your comfort zone?” Though people brushes through your life like a paintbrush on a canvass, the questions they ask can remain back as a contrasting color on the white paper. You may never know the perfect answer immediately. Nevertheless, you can slowly built your answer with only the deathbed as the deadline.

Impressed by the question but nowhere near an answer, I tucked this question at the corner of my mind and let it catch cobwebs with a shaky promise that I will someday figure out the perfect matching answer. Now in this corner of mine, there are many other questions cuddled up awaiting for the summons to the altar to be wedded with the bride, i.e., the answers. In fact, perfect answers and not some freaky one night stands, no strings attached answers.

So, who am I outside my comfort zone?

I am a liar outside my comfort zone. I lie too much by saying I am perfectly fine walking barefoot. But, I am not. I lie when I am encountered with situations and people beyond my sweet spot of convenience. I don’t drink tea. I don’t eat snacks. I don’t read drink wine. I like to work as if it is worship. I am afraid. I am fine with everything. I am okay. I lie through my nose.

I compromise more outside the comfort zone. I allow unimportant people to breach into my personal time because I am too afraid to offend them. Yet inside my comfort zone, I am rude and guard my privacy the way a lioness protects her cubs. Meanwhile, outside these borders, I am sweet and polite giving saccharine a fine ride of competition.

In that discomfort area, I forgive a lot. I am the saint of forgiveness as long as I am outside my comfort zone. I hand out pardons faster the presidents deciding on the clemency petitions. However, this saintly trait of mine never appear inside my comfort zone.

Living outside your comfort zone is sometimes good and sometimes bad. The more you try to define your comfort zone and yourself, the more the nature would connive to flung you out of your space. Yet it’s clear as crystal that memories worth remembering happens always outside your comfort zone while what happens within your comfort zone will be life run by habit, routine and elegance. 

Defining oneself would mean knowing who you are in your comfort zone and knowing who you are outside your comfort zone. This is something worth your time and worth knowing. The journey into one’s own life is beautiful like a field of lilies. Yet, if you get lost in that journey, then life would shrivel inside the intricate maze of your head. 

Therefore, its all about the cliched term “balance” which would be something I will write about someday…

mercy SP
"I am a castle builder mostly seen adorning the hat of a lazy rebel; clad in the uniform of a confused idealist."

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